So we had student orientation today. Just a little warm up for tomorrow, the first day of school. We got Super Z up early and did all of the things that we would normally do on a school day.
I would call the home portion of the morning a success. Sure he cried a bit at first, but he did get dressed AND he ate breakfast, a miracle that only happens on the rarest of occasions.
As we drove to the school I reminded him of his teacher's name and we talked about the rules some. When we got there he told me that he didn't want to go to school. It only took about three minutes to convince him that he was a big boy and big boys have to go to school. He then insisted on taking in his backpack even though he wasn't staying.
"Big boys that have to go to school have to have backpacks, Mama."...Well, who can argue with that?
Mrs. Lee had all of the work stations set up when we arrived. She gave the kids a tour and then told them all that they could play at the station of their choice for a few minutes. Z headed straight for the play-doh. I took a seat over to the side, because I tend to be a bit shy when I first meet people. Sideline observation works for me.
Super Z had other ideas, " HEY MOM I AM MAKING A GUY!"
"That is awesome. Use your inside voice," I said smiling at the other parents who turned to look at the loud kid. I swear to you all of the other kids in the class were extremely quiet. Not saying anything quiet, I would guess that they were nervous, an emotion as foreign to Super Z as fear.
At that point he picks up the play-doh scissors and yells, " I am chopping of his legs!" He then screams, for the poor helpless doh-guy, I am assuming, " AHHHGHGGRRRHHHH!!!"
The other kids look on in disbelief. " This Zane kid is nuts.," their faces say.
I couldn't help but smile. I promise you, I tried. This kid just cracks me up.
" No Z, we don't chop off legs. Inside voice.," I said quietly.
He looked at me like I'd lost my mind.
" Is chopping off legs a bad word?," he asked in a dramatic stage whisper.
" No, it just isn't very nice.," I explained.
He thought about it a few seconds...meanwhile people have stopped staring, the other kids are going back to the games.
"Well I guess I'll just chop off people's legs at home then.," he declares, again eight decibels higher than any other voice in the room.
I really didn't know what to say. I was speechless. I was amused. I know that is bad, I shouldn't be so amused...but I tell you, the way his mind works delights me. I just wish he could delight me in the privacy of our own home. My mind was filled with celebratory music and an announcer yelling that I was PARENT OF THE YEAR. I had raised this boy who would be polite and only chop off legs at home. Bravo!
At that point Mrs. Lee met my gaze. She didn't shutter in disgust ( like at least one other parent did ) she laughed quietly and shook her head.
"100% boy, huh?," she asked.
I nodded and relaxed, "Oh yeah."