Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Thursday Thirteen - Halloween Edition

1) Princess H was supposed to be a Princess for Halloween. She wore the costume at her birthday party. It was really cute. She was fine with it. She had absolutely NO PROBLEM with being a Princess.

2) Last year Super Z was Super Man. This year he was the Flash. As we were getting the Princess and the Flash dressed, the Princess rebelled. " This just isn't right!," she thought to herself. " He always gets to be super! I want to be super too!" This wasn't actually said in words though. It was expressed through screaming and crying and ripping off of the Princess costume. It was expressed through head banging and cape finding. It was a lovely moment.

3) Princess H ended up going Trick Or Treating as Sumina Man Girl with a Princess Wand.

4) Actually Randy ended up carrying Sumina Man Girl with a Princess Wand everywhere, as befits a super of her station.
5) I mean, come on people! She has a Princess wand...that glows. How cool is that?
6) The Flash ran everywhere. Randy, Jesus, and I just did our best to keep up and keep him from being killed. I mean he is the Flash. He is very very fast.

7) We weren't able to keep him perfectly safe though. The Flash did take a big nose dive flying trip over this here curb. He broke his bucket. He hurt his toe. He scraped his knee. But did that stop the Flash? Oh no. He is a super.
8) We got out bearings, took in our surroundings, thought about how very large our neighborhood is, licked our wounds and kept on trucking ( for what seemed like forever.)
9) The Flash and Sumina Man Girl with a Princess Wand were the cutest kids around. It was no contest really. I mean, look at this cuteness.
10) The Flash impressed everyone (including Sumina Man Girl with a Princess Wand) with his giant muscles. And yes, those giant muscles allowed him to carry his own bucket the WHOLE WAY for the first time ever.
11) Super Z picked our pumpkin this year on his class trip. It was HIS pumpkin. It was not OUR pumpkin. It was HIS.
12) Because it was HIS Pumpkin he drew the face on it. He did a great job, I hope you can see this. Randy cut out the face. That was the only interaction that us mere mortals were allowed to have with Z's pumpkin. As you can see the drawing was very elaborate, so he wasn't able to get it exactly like Z wanted it, but I think it turned out pretty good.
13) When we got home and Zane stripped, Princess H transformed from Sumina Man Girl with a Princess Wand to Sumina Man Girl Flash with CANDY TO EAT!!!! Now I get to figure out how to keep the Candy Monster out of said candy. I hope you all had a great Halloween.

Monday, October 29, 2007


So, my life is full of tragedy this week. Not tragic tragedy, fear not. Just little crappy annoyances that make me shout a little of the Bee Gees hit. I really do that. You use the word tragedy in a sentence, and unless someone died, there is a 97% chance that I will sing Tragedy.

I have a song for most occasions. When the words hit me just right, I always know exactly what to sing. This does not impress everyone. Some people scream, "NO! Don't!" as I start to sing , "I'm down with OPP" when Super Z says, " I've gotta go Peepee." I am not sure what is wrong with those people. Everyone loves a song...right?

But I ramble, back to the tragedies:

  • My boss once again assumes that I am a miracle worker and sends me back a truckload of work with just three days to go until the end of the month. Why would she do this? It is a test. She tests me, I get it done, she tests me more. How will it end? One month will my head blow right off my shoulders because I. CANNOT. MISS. A. DEADLINE?
  • Princess H had little scratches all over her pretty wrist. I love her wrist. I like to kiss them. I don't know what happened. When I questioned her Father I got the blank stare of the brain dead. Tragedy, I say.
  • Super Z outgrew his camouflage pants. When I blast him for growing he just laughs and says that he plans to continue doing it...What the crap? What am I supposed to do, just sit back and watch as my baby who hasn't outgrown a thing in two years turns into a clothes outgrowing machine?? I guess so. When I pretended to cry and asked him what we would do about the camo pants he gently patted me and explained, " You get bigger ones, Mommy. It will be okay."
  • I do not like spaghetti anymore. I have to break this to Randy. As suddenly as my love affair with spaghetti began 5 years ago, when I was pregnant with Z, it has now come to a screeching halt. This will surely break Randy's heart. I am running out of excuses for why I am eating something other than spaghetti for supper. Tragedy.
  • I have more gray hair than my Mother.
  • I am getting a wrinkle on my forehead. I saw it in that picture I posted with my pillow. Sigh...
  • I want to get a real tree this year and Randy hates them!!!!! Any ideas for how I can bring him around?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Fun Monday

Hello! Welcome to Fun Monday. Our host this week is Candid Karina. Our assignment is to share our security blankets, the items that we can't leave home without.
I actually have a real security blanket, well a security pillow anyway, so I am going to share that first.
This is Stushy Pillow, affectionately called Stoosh. Stushy Pillow evolved over the years. When I first found this pillow, back in 1988, I called it Squishy Pillow. After 19 years, high school broken hearts, college drama, marriage, and two children, it has become Stoosh.
When I was 12 my parents got divorced and my Daddy basically did a disappearing act into the haze of alcoholism. Although he later recovered, at the time I felt like everything was lost. My Mom, my sister and I ended up living in a rundown trailer in the middle of her brother's junk yard. It was as wonderful as it sounds.
After 12 years of stability we were lost, we were broken. I remember all three of us huddling in the same bed at night, almost too scared to even venture into a room without each other. It was the scariest time of my life.
After a year of this my Mom met Edwin. The man she would eventually marry. The man who would be my Father during the most tumultuous years of my life, the teenage years. Edwin didn't always make me happy, he was as blunt and honest as I guess I am now. What he did do was make me feel safe.
I found Stoosh the first night we spent the night at Edwin's house. That night was the best night of sleep that I had had in a year. At the time, I was too young to think that Edwin had anything to do with that feeling. It had to be the magic pillow that he'd pulled out of the top of the closet. A pillow that at that time must have already been 15 years old. I asked him if I could keep that pillow. He said yes, and I have had Stoosh ever since.
I have only slept without Stoosh a total of 8 nights in the 19 years since. I left it at home once when I returned to college, and my Mom airmailed it to me. Another time I left it at my sister's house where it waited very patiently for 5 nights. I didn't sleep well on those nights. I tossed and I turned. I know it is crazy, but that is the truth.
Stoosh goes everywhere that I spend the night. Stoosh was in the hospital with me for the births of both of my children ( much to my Mother's horror. She considers Stoosh a germ infested embarrassment.) Stoosh goes with me on every vacation on every car ride that lasts more than three hours ( Hey, you never know when you'll have to sleep in the car.)
Stoosh is the most comfortable pillow in the world. It has gone through three reconstructive surgeries and been the cause of many fights. Everyone wants to sleep on the Stoosh. Every single member of my family yearns to make the Stoosh their own. It isn't happening. Nobody gets the Stoosh.
Randy says that when I die, he will cut the Stoosh into four pieces. One will be buried with me. The other three pieces will be passed out to him and the kids. I think that will be a fitting end for such a wonderful pillow.
As far as things I can't leave home without, there aren't that many. There is My Book. My Book is my checkbook/address book/ random note book/ list book. It serves many purposes, but it goes everywhere that I go.
Other than that, I would say that the only other thing that I can't leave home without is my bag. Where I am going determines which bag it is.
This is my non-work bag. Randy got me this for my birthday last year. I hate diaper bags, so diaper bag alternatives, such as this make my day. This bag is a purse/diaper bag combo that I could not live without. Randy has his own diaper bag for when I am not around ( a basic backpack), he declares my bag too girlified.

The other bag is the work bag. I got it at a conference last year. I have used this bag so much that the strap is starting to come loose. It is the perfect soft leather briefcase. Basically on Friday evening I move My Book and the check book from the work bag to the diaper bag/purse. On Sunday evening I move them back. That is the story of my life

Working on a Sunday??

So I have to go into the office today. On a Sunday. This is not fun. This is not my idea of a good time. But as part of the testing group on the Upgrade, which serves no purpose as far as I can tell, it is my duty. When duty calls, I complain...and then go.
Other than that we have had an excellent weekend. I will give you some highlights...
  • Princess H got out of the tub and ran streaking through the house while pooping. You heard me right, running through the house while pooping.

  • My husband grilled me a big fat juicy steak. It was just as good as it sounds.

  • Super Z decided that his Jack- O - Lantern should have Flash ears, a.k.a. Thunder ears, a.k.a. lightning bolt ears.

  • I began reading The Red Tent. It is lovely. I am really enjoying it. You should read it. Right now.

  • I decided that I am going to write a book. Well, I am going to try. I was talking to my friend, Cat, last week and I decided that I should write a book about my Mamaw F. ( The one who has been married 60 years). I thought about it a bit more this weekend and I decided that it is worth a shot. I am going to begin my research next weekend. That means that I am going for a good long visit. You guys send me good creative vibes.

  • My sister decided that her neighbor is a witch. I convinced my sister that she probably will not get turned into a frog.

I will leave you with a lovely shot of Super Z when he still had some baby left in him. I miss that baby. I like the boy, but I miss the baby. Is that acceptable?

Friday, October 26, 2007

Haiku Friday

Haiku Friday
Is it possible?
Could I actually have
a weekend of peace?
She is getting old...
Just not quite as old as me.
Happy Birthday, Cat!
These are things I've done,
hog killings and shelling peas,
Oh, my country roots.
There is no baby
left in this wild little boy.
How did this happen?
Cool sheets on my skin,
sprinkled with soft filtered light
The most perfect sleep.
Does he even know?
He is my strength and my heart.
The best parts of me.
For thirty-one years
I have been absorbing them.
This is my Dad's nose.
These are my Mom's hands
They have a life of their own
The dance of worry.
My laugh fills a room,
an echo of my sister.
The girl can't whisper.
Music surrounds me.
It tells of my history.
A gift from Papaw.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Thursday Thirteen, Ya'll

I am a southerner. I eat grits. I listen to country music (sometimes). I call all sodas coke. I say ya'll and over yonder. I put my groceries in a buggy. My more rural relatives have been known to yell, " Those chaps better not be gettin mud all over the porch." That means that the children should take their muddy shoes off in the yard. I say dadgummit when I'm aggravated. I even made up my own southern cuss...are you ready? "What in the hem haw hay???" I know it is catchy. Feel free to make it your own. I am telling you, before long you'll be hearing it everywhere. I have gotten alcoholic beverages at a beer barn. I am worldly, ya'll.
Everyday I get the pleasure of hearing southerners speak. Actually every time I open my mouth, which is rather frequent, I get that pleasure. I am an expert, a connoisseur you might say, of the southern accent. The problem is, I almost never hear a good one in a movie. Actually, I can't stand to watch most southern movies because they are so over done and ridiculous. I can only think of one actress that does a good southern accent off the top of my head, and that is Reese Witherspoon. I really like her. And she is a southerner, which is probably why she is good at it. But that doesn't mean that all southerners are. I mean take Julia Roberts, she is a southerner. But have you heard her in Steel Magnolias? Oh my Word. I think that one needs to be on my list. So today I give you...

Thirteen Movies With Bad Southern Accents
  1. Steel Magnolias - This is a good movie. I like it. I will even admit that one of the most over the top accents in the movie is real. That is actually how Dolly Parton talks. I think it is an Appalachian, Tennessee thing. But the rest of the accents in this movie? Just too over the top.
  2. A Time To Kill - This movie has Mathew McCaughnehey sounding like a drunk plantation landowner from the 1800s. Come to think of that , the movie is supposedly set in the early 90s in Mississippi, but these people don't have AC. Uh guys, Pretty much 99% of everybody in Mississippi has had AC since the early 80s. And attorneys? Yeah, they can even afford AC here.
  3. The Dukes of Hazard - Jessica Simpson was not only an insult to the memory of Daisy Duke, but also the worst southern accent that I have ever heard.
  4. Con Air - Nicholas Cage should never do a southern accent again. Never ever. It was just bad.
  5. The Green Mile - The actor who played Percy should have been the one who was put in the electric chair. I mean, come on.
  6. My Cousin Vinny - Everyone in the southern town that they end up in. I am not sure if the New York accents were bad or not. Anybody know?
  7. Forrest Gump - Again, I like the movie. The overdone accents just distract me. I look at Sally Field and Tom Hanks, both whom I love, and I yell, " Why?!? How could you do this to me?? I love you!"
  8. The Devil's Advocate - Keanu Reeves doesn't do any accent well. He really doesn't. He should just talk in his strange monotone way and leave it at that.
  9. Gone With The Wind - Vivian Leigh kills me in this. Now, I will give you that I have never heard Civil War era Southerners speak...but please God, tell me it wasn't this annoying.
  10. All The Kings Men - I am not sure what was going on here. I couldn't even understand what Sean Penn was saying. The sad part of that is that he probably did the best southern accent in this movie.
  11. Mississippi Burning - I know this movie was filmed here in Mississippi. Don't you think that the actors could have just stood on the street for a minute and listened to the people talk? I mean would that be so hard?
  12. Hannibal - Julianne Moore = Clarice with bad bad southern accent. Please give us Jodie Foster! Please!
  13. The Prince of Tides - Nick Nolte does a really bad southern acccent in this. I do understand that there are different accents all over the south...but please tell me none sound like this...

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Wordless Wednesday - My Grandparents, who are still in love after 60 years of marriage

The Sick of Hell

So Sunday night, I am sitting at my computer minding my own business. I was actually putting together my Fun Monday post, so that I could post it first thing Monday morning ( which DID NOT happen). All of a sudden I just began to ache. I told Randy that I was dying as I crawled into the bed.
He asked me if my chest hurt. Apparently, in order to die, your chest must hurt. I said no and then started to tremble and shake as if I were outdoors naked in a snowstorm. I am telling you, I was chilled down to my bones. Four blankets, a hot bath, my husband...nothing could warm me up. Shortly after that the nausea started.
I am telling you. This was the virus from hell. I was up until 5 am freezing and dying. Finally, Randy gave me NyQuil (because I was keeping him awake.) And then, Praise the Lord...sleep came.
I rested up yesterday. I slept until one and then read most of Middelsex. (I am slowly putting a dent in my Fall into Reading list. Slowly...very slowly. 1 1/2 down, 3 1/2 to go.) So today I am back at work. Yay.
Now, I am just hoping and praying that the kids don't get it. Or God forbid Randy gets it. Then I would go nuts...

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Fun Monday

This week's Fun Monday is being hosted by WT, he wants to see some clothing art. That's tee shirts, baseball caps, hoodies, sports uniforms or any bit of clothing that you or your kids own that has interesting, funny or artistic graphics.

Well, I personally don't have any clothing with graphics. This is a fact that I never knew about myself until now. Very interesting. I am going to share the favorite graphic tees of Randy, Super Z, and Princess H in no particular order. Let's see if you guys can match the shirts to the correct owner. I am also throwing in the knee and cuff of my favorite old ripped jeans. I consider these jeans a work of art. I hope you all have a terrific Monday!

A Birthday Letter to My Princess

Henna Reese,
This morning started like so many weekend mornings do. I awoke to the sound of you singing to yourself over the monitor. You can sing so many tunes. It doesn't even matter that you aren't saying the words. Anyone who hears the tune and that lovely pitch knows exactly what you are singing. I just kept my eyes closed and listened to your songs. You bring so much peace and happiness to my life. You are my calm.
From the moment that you were born, you have been the easiest baby. The one with the sweetest smile and the softest touch. The one who can light up any heart with a "Hey! Hello!" and a one dimpled smile. You are truly my Princess.
Sometimes, however, the calm breaks and my little spitfire steps out. The little girl who can scream like a banshee and turn three shades of red if she doesn't get "sugars" as soon as she wants them. The little girl who gets so mad that she will bite herself in a fit of rage.
I know that you are, and will always be, a force to be reckoned with. I know that you will grow and learn to see yourself the way that I see you. I will make sure that you know that you are worthy of only the best treatment, that you are a woman who never doubts that she deserves every ounce of the love and respect that others have to offer. When you hurt, and I know that you will, I will be there with you to help you through it. To help you come out stronger on the other side of the pain. I will be there cheering you on as you learn who you are . I will be the one that laughs with you and cries for you when things go wrong. You are perfection to me. You always will be.
I want to know every person that you become. I want to fight with you as a rebellious teenager. I want to cry with you when you become a Mother. I want to be your friend that you call, just to talk about what's for dinner. I want to know you. And most importantly, I want you to never doubt that I love you, no matter who you become.
You will always be the baby that had no trouble latching on. You will always be the tiny girl who slept with my hair wrapped around your fist. You will always be the girl who asked "What's this?" a 1,000 times every day. You will always be my heart.
Happy second birthday, Princess H. I look forward to another year of getting to know your heart, your mind, and your soul. I love you forever, Mama

Friday, October 19, 2007

Haiku Friday

Haiku Friday
I have been having a hard time coming up with a theme this week. I think my brain is bruised. I have too much going on. There was the birthday party last weekend and this weekend I am throwing a baby shower for my good friend, who is having twin boys. Add work and kids to that equation and you get me, the muddled mess. So here I attempt Haiku Friday themeless, whatever comes into my mind.
Reading a good book,
it used to be so simple.
Who ate all my time?
I adore dirt cake.
It must have a million points...
Life has come to this.
He got in a fight.
A four year old delinquent,
No bike for three days.
Swimming in the dark,
Gliding effortlessly through.
The world is my cave.
I remember it,
The fallout of giving up.
Not ever again.
Why am I working,
Outside my window it looms.
The most perfect day.