Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Thursday Thirteen, Ya'll

I am a southerner. I eat grits. I listen to country music (sometimes). I call all sodas coke. I say ya'll and over yonder. I put my groceries in a buggy. My more rural relatives have been known to yell, " Those chaps better not be gettin mud all over the porch." That means that the children should take their muddy shoes off in the yard. I say dadgummit when I'm aggravated. I even made up my own southern cuss...are you ready? "What in the hem haw hay???" I know it is catchy. Feel free to make it your own. I am telling you, before long you'll be hearing it everywhere. I have gotten alcoholic beverages at a beer barn. I am worldly, ya'll.
Everyday I get the pleasure of hearing southerners speak. Actually every time I open my mouth, which is rather frequent, I get that pleasure. I am an expert, a connoisseur you might say, of the southern accent. The problem is, I almost never hear a good one in a movie. Actually, I can't stand to watch most southern movies because they are so over done and ridiculous. I can only think of one actress that does a good southern accent off the top of my head, and that is Reese Witherspoon. I really like her. And she is a southerner, which is probably why she is good at it. But that doesn't mean that all southerners are. I mean take Julia Roberts, she is a southerner. But have you heard her in Steel Magnolias? Oh my Word. I think that one needs to be on my list. So today I give you...

Thirteen Movies With Bad Southern Accents
  1. Steel Magnolias - This is a good movie. I like it. I will even admit that one of the most over the top accents in the movie is real. That is actually how Dolly Parton talks. I think it is an Appalachian, Tennessee thing. But the rest of the accents in this movie? Just too over the top.
  2. A Time To Kill - This movie has Mathew McCaughnehey sounding like a drunk plantation landowner from the 1800s. Come to think of that , the movie is supposedly set in the early 90s in Mississippi, but these people don't have AC. Uh guys, Pretty much 99% of everybody in Mississippi has had AC since the early 80s. And attorneys? Yeah, they can even afford AC here.
  3. The Dukes of Hazard - Jessica Simpson was not only an insult to the memory of Daisy Duke, but also the worst southern accent that I have ever heard.
  4. Con Air - Nicholas Cage should never do a southern accent again. Never ever. It was just bad.
  5. The Green Mile - The actor who played Percy should have been the one who was put in the electric chair. I mean, come on.
  6. My Cousin Vinny - Everyone in the southern town that they end up in. I am not sure if the New York accents were bad or not. Anybody know?
  7. Forrest Gump - Again, I like the movie. The overdone accents just distract me. I look at Sally Field and Tom Hanks, both whom I love, and I yell, " Why?!? How could you do this to me?? I love you!"
  8. The Devil's Advocate - Keanu Reeves doesn't do any accent well. He really doesn't. He should just talk in his strange monotone way and leave it at that.
  9. Gone With The Wind - Vivian Leigh kills me in this. Now, I will give you that I have never heard Civil War era Southerners speak...but please God, tell me it wasn't this annoying.
  10. All The Kings Men - I am not sure what was going on here. I couldn't even understand what Sean Penn was saying. The sad part of that is that he probably did the best southern accent in this movie.
  11. Mississippi Burning - I know this movie was filmed here in Mississippi. Don't you think that the actors could have just stood on the street for a minute and listened to the people talk? I mean would that be so hard?
  12. Hannibal - Julianne Moore = Clarice with bad bad southern accent. Please give us Jodie Foster! Please!
  13. The Prince of Tides - Nick Nolte does a really bad southern acccent in this. I do understand that there are different accents all over the south...but please tell me none sound like this...


AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Amen to that! I think you are right on. And, even tho I'm from a state not defined by any region, we do & say most of those things, too. Matt McC lived next to my bro in college. I don't know why he couldn't get the accent down as he's from a very rural town west of San Antonio.

ellen b said...

I'll take your word for it! Happy TT..

John said...

Funny post, loved your comments. As for the football fanatic's comment about Matt M being from rural Texas, real Southerners don't consider Texans to be anything other than Texans. Texans barely recognize that they are US citizens--they're just Texans.

Nicholas said...

If it ever shows up on late night TV, watch a 1960s movie called Hurry Sundown with Michael Caine, of all people, trying to talk with a southern accent. See how much of it you can take.

Blue Momma said...

#14 would be every one I worked with in MA who tried to talk like me.

Losers!! No really I miss them. Those losers! Wish I was back listening to THEIR accents - which of course, they don't think they have!

Very good TT, Serina. But you left fixin' off of your list. This was the biggest hit for me in MA.

bernie said...

Ain't from the Sout, but hale I luvs yur list.

I linked to you from mine: 13 Things Egyptian your grandchildren will never see

Amanda said...

I wouldn't know the difference so I'll trust you on this. :)

WorksForMom said...

Ya'll funny. This was a GREAT list Serina (man you know your movies).

Becky said...

I could not agree more. I HATE southern accents. And what even disturbs me more about the A time to Kill was John Grisham wrote that and HE'S FROM MS!! He couldn't have siad - um, dude, we don't sound like that. And the sweating all the time because they don't have air conditioners. They're like 60 bucks at Wal mart. COME ON!!

And seriously Nicholas Cage with the "give me the bunny" line. I literally thought I would vomit.

I like this list. You are so my favorite cousin ever.

I hear they're having a hog killin at Uncle RGs or Uncle Tommy's the day after Thanksgiving. :)

Dana said...

A-Men! Julia Roberts drive me crazy in Steel Magnolias but it is still one of my favorites. As for Matt M, he can say whatever he wants however he wants. It's not his voice I'm paying attention to!

I was a little offended at first by John's comment about Texans, then I sat back and thought about it and realized that he is absolutely correct!

Oh, The Joys said...

Amens & hallelujahs from over here.

I get really ticked off with people that make fun of the south or southern accents. Southern accents are beautiful and refined to my ear.

The whole southern=stupid thing chaps my @ss.

(Though I am more sensitive around divergent flag issues as they are complicated and run pretty deep.)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

They were real bad soutern accents y'hear?

Dane Bramage said...

You would think that there are enough southern actors and actresses that they wouldn't need an actor who has to do an accent. Can you image Sean Connery trying a southern drawl?

Thanks for visiting my T13 #53 13 Tidbits of Wisdom Edition

Momo Fali said...

Very catchy! I'm SO saying that!

cajunvegan said...

The Waterboy ... I have people ask me constantly to talk like Bobby Boucher.

Yes, they are all Cokes.

But I think it's y'all instead of ya'll.

I will be stalking (I mean, adding) you as a fellow GRITS.

Sleeping Beauty said...

I live in IL not to far from Chicago and we do not hear southern words unless they are in a movie so I do not know what a bad accent is or not, lol. But I can say just by watching a movie about the south, it gives me a sense of peace. Something in IL, which we do not experience lol... At least not in my city lol.

My favorite actress is Reese though!

Joyful Days said...

I got a chuckle out of this. Now I'm going to be listening for this.

MetaMommy said...

This was so funny. I get so offended when I hear what I recognize to be a bad accent. It's funny when an Irish person does an American accent, though. I mean, I don't have an accent...right?