Sunday, December 2, 2007

Fun Monday


Our Fun Monday host this week is Robinella. Her topic is wonderful to me for two reasons.

1) I am suffering from NaBloPoMo Burn Out at the moment. Her topic allows me to share a wonderful post without actually having to come up with one! You can't beat that with a stick.
2) I get to share one of my favorite posts with you, a post that you probably haven't seen, because I wrote it way back in the day before I had many readers. Just in case you are wondering, that happened to be way back in August '07.

So, on with the show! Robinella's assignment was:

In honor of exhaustion, color and self-love, I present you with this week’s assignment. I want you to dig through your blog files and show us your best
effort. Why you consider it your best is up to you. C’mon, you know you have
a favorite - show it to me one more time.

It was a tad bit difficult to come up with a favorite. None of my posts are as wonderful
as the ones that you guys fling out effortlessly on a day to day basis. But, being forced at
knife point to choose, I chose Marriage Anyone? So now here it is in all its glory. I hope
you like it and I hope that you have a wonderful Monday.

Marriage Anyone?

Question: What are the three most important things needed to make a marriage work?

I had to think about this for a while, because I have to admit that personally I have spent more time around marriages that didn't work than around those that did. My Mom and Dad have each been divorced twice. My Mom's marriages have both died as the result of unresolved anger. So I would say that that is definitely a bad idea. I mean unless you are just really into being pissed off and miserable all the time... and if that is the case, I say go for it. I mean why forgive? Being perpetually angry and miserable probably burns a lot of calories... my Mom has always been really thin...
My Dad's second marriage ended because he was an idiot ( and an alcoholic ) who married a fellow idiot ( and alcoholic ) who he barely knew. So in big flashing lights I would have to say
* Don't be an idiot (or an alcoholic)* Those two things are definitely not good for a marriage. That divorce was actually a very good thing to us kids. We liked sober thinking Dad much better than drunk, stupid, married Dad. We are crazy like that.
Some would say that this legacy of divorce is a bad omen for me. I think not. Surely I must have learned something from all the failure, right? I really hope that I did. No, I know I did.
Randy and I have got it going on... in many many ways, but I have to pick three. I don't think I am an expert after only eight years at what is needed to make marriage at large work, but I can tell you the things that work for us.
So, I give you the top three things that make my marriage work:

1) We are best friends. I mean really, the man can make me laugh until tea comes out of my nose. He listens to me bitch (and commiserates!). He likes to hear me talk. He has even been known to let me put eyeliner on him...once, under duress...when we were really bored...and young...and drunk. But yeah, he is my favoritest, as Super Z would say.
2)We know how to keep it fresh. Now this blog is G rated, or PG-13 at worst, so I am not going to go into the bow-chica-wow-wow details with you ( I know, you were on the edge of your seat.), but we don't ever get tired of each other. We are not afraid to try new things. And let me tell you what, our grand finish conversations tend to be brutally honest and quite hilarious. Sometimes I can't believe the things coming out of our mouths. We should be critics... " Well on the plus side the lighting in the room was wonderful tonight..."
3)Nobody wears the pants in this house. No, we don't walk around naked from the waist down (Hahaha, I am so funny)...We are equal, team personified. There is no boss. ( There is bossy... but I am convinced that is a genetic flaw passed down through both lines of my family.) We are both more than willing to share our view of how the world should revolve and we are both willing to listen. Compromise is golden.

21 comments:

John said...

I was disappointed not to find a Saturday post and then realized that it was December and you may not be posting everyday.

I may join you with the rerun post. I have a few past favorites (also from a time before I had many readers!)

Amanda said...

I remember reading this when you originally posted it an its just as good a read now as it was then. It doesn't hurt to be reminded of the 3 important points that you make. Great Post!

Peter said...

Knowing the things that work, no matter how many there are is one thing, following them is something else again usually, seems you both may have chosen wisely.

Robinella said...

Both of my parents have been married 3 times. Dad divorced twice (second wife died) and Mom still living in her own hell with #3. I had a lot of the same feelings you did.

After 17 years, I can say you picked 3 good things to showcase.

You are on the list, btw.

Sandy said...

I love the differentiation between being boss and being bossy.

Great post.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I think your 3 are great. And, being able to bedroom criticize? Is very important. Marrying your best friend is the most required thing about marriage lasting...just in case there are dry spells where the the lightning is more thundery...no?

janet said...

nicely put, my dear. as someone who had to do it three times before i got it right, i can relate to your guidelines more than you could guess!

and i love the idea of your post-nooky critiques. lol

Bren said...

Well put, Serina! That's a great post. In my house, we're still working on some of those.

Tiggerlane said...

Cute post! I totally believe that children from divorce are NOT destined to repeat it...and now I know how my husband stays so thin! "Bow-chica-wow-wow" made me LAUGH! LOL!

A Slice of Life said...

Very well said. Although I keep trying to convince dh that I am the queen and he should bow down to me. (NO, I'm NOT bossy!!!)

Susan at A Slice of Life

A Slice of Life said...

Very well said. Although I keep trying to convince dh that I am the queen and he should bow down to me. (NO, I'm NOT bossy!!!)

Susan at A Slice of Life

Nap Warden said...

I hear you on blog post burnout...it's nice to go blog hopping now that I'm not posting all the time! Great post btw!

Lil Mouse (Jill) said...

good post! marriage rocks, especially if its your best friend

Mom Chatter said...

Great post... and WONDERFUL list of things that make a marriage work! AND "Bow-chica-wow-wow" is TOO FUNNY! :)

Kaycie said...

Really great post. I'd say you guys have a good idea of what will keep you together.

WorksForMom said...

This was great Serina. You had me at Don't be an idiot (or an alcoholic). Tis true you wise hot mama!

ChrisB said...

Your top three tips make excellent advice.

Karmyn R said...

Good choices - I think communication is another important point to a good marriage (but, I suppose saying you are best friends includes this!)

Dreaming What Ifs...

lisa's chaos said...

Yeah, we walk around naked on our lower halfs too. Love this post. :)

JUST A MOM said...

I like your 3,,, I also like your why NOTS!

Pamela said...

(you leave the lights on? bwaaa ha ha ha ha.)

hey...enjoyed the read!