Happy Birthday, Super Z

Zane,

I am putting this letter up ten days late because as you know, your birthday comes at the craziest time of the year. I always feel like you have been cheated somehow. Your day is usually overshadowed by Christmas prep and you party is always postponed until January. My poor baby, I would move your birthday if I could...well, maybe I wouldn't. I remember when you were born I called you my Christmas elf. You had the cutest little pointy ear. That ear is a testament. You were meant to be a holiday baby.

For your birthday this year I let you choose where we would go to dinner. The sky was the limit. I offered up all of your favorites..shrimp, pizza, steak. But no, you chose McDonald's. So on December 20 at 7:45 PM, 5 years to the minute after I brought you into this world, I sat in McDonald's Playland and listened to you laugh and play with your sister. It occurred to me that night, that the sounds of you have become the music of my life.

In the three years that I spent trying to get pregnant with you, there were a lot of silent moments in my life, moments when I would sit alone and read or think, moments getting to know my husband and best friend, moments when I would cry and think that I would never be a mother. I would not trade any of these moments for the world, even the worst ones. They were my preparation for you, my symphony.

You wake me up in the morning with your questions and your stories. You need to know everything...right now. You want to know where God is and who invented wheels. You want to tell me about this green motorcycle that you saw and a superhero that you dreamed of. You want to know where I lived when I was a kid and how tall you are going to be. Your laughter and your words never stop. Sometimes when I listen to you playing alone and talking to yourself, I stop to listen at your door. You are truly a song that never ends.

You are the son that I wanted with all of my heart. You are everything that I ever dreamed that you would be and more. Even now, as I listen to you in the kitchen playing with your cars, I am astonished that you are mine. I am astonished that I get to be your Mom...your best friend.

I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I hope you like your new "Big" bike. I hope you don't mind being squeezed into the holidays. Just know that you are the best Christmas gift that I have ever gotten. You are my miracle and my baby and you always will be.

Love, Mom