My Ovaries Are Crying

I was changing my desktop on my work computer just now, and I came upon this picture of Princess H when she was less than a week old. I swear to you, my ovaries began to weep. I could feel her fresh petal like baby skin and the smell of her fresh new baby self clouded rational thought out of my brain. This is bad. This is very bad...very very bad. Stay away from me Randy! I am a dangerous woman.

Thursday 13

Thirteen Things That Make Me Laugh

1) The part in the movie Dumb and Dumber where they find Petey the bird dead, with his head cut off and the Jim Carrey guy says, " Well, Petey was really old...it was just his time." That is paraphrased by the way. I am not sure if that is exactly what he said, but it was funny as hell. The rest of the movie I could live without. That scene though...it slayed me.

2) 40 Fun Things to do in an elevator.

3) Dane Cook's skit about Mr. Kool Aid. Oh YEAH!!!



4) Most things that I say. Because yes, I am one of those annoying people who find themselves amusing. I kill me.

5) The Saturday Night Live skit "Dick in a Box". I am sorry, but it really does. It never gets old.

6) My sister.
7) Randy dancing. It looks a little bit like this.

8) When someone else is laughing. I can't help it. I am a follower.

9) Oh, The Joys. She is going through a tough time right now, but most days this chick keeps me rolling.

10) The Office. The one I work in, with it's cast of clowns, and the show. You should see my friend Cat throw down a booty dance in the Midst of the cube pool while I DJ a Friday afternoon dance party. Believe me, it has happened. Shake it Cat!

11) Jagermeister. First I laugh, then I get sick. Thankfully that doesn't happen too often this decade.

12)Babies in sunglasses.
13) My Ding a ling.

Wordless Wednesday

A Party For The Princess

Fun Monday

Our Fun Monday host this week is Janet from The Planet of Janet. Her topic is one that I have touched on in other posts, but I love Fun Monday, so I am going to share this again. I was going to add pictures, but i don't have a scanner and the taking pictures of pictures thing just isn't working for me. Someone tell Santa that I need a scanner for Christmas, okay?
Describe your meeting with your spouse/significant other. I especially want to hear "meet cute" stories. And it doesn't have to be your actual current sig/other. Perhaps the "meet cute" story is a former boy/girlfriend... or even a best friend. Illustrate with photos, of course.
Randy and I have pretty much been running in the same circles our whole lives. When we were about 4 we lived in the same neighborhood. He lived on a different street, and my Mama didn't let me get out roaming the streets much, so I am not sure if we ever crossed paths. He swears that he remembers me from way back then.
We also attended the same elementary school up until the fourth grade. We were never in the same home room, but I knew who he was. He was the little short boy and I was the girl towering over everyone else. I am pretty sure that we played together on the playground a couple of times. When Randy was in the fourth grade his parents got divorced and his Mom moved him across the state. Thus, he disappeared from my life for the first time.
When he was 14 he came back to Natchez to live with his Dad. I remember hearing some girls talk about him during that time. You have to understand, my husband is adorable. Girls have always liked him. He eventually made his way to my best friend/ cousin Becky's house. Where they began a brief semi relationship. I think that relationship mainly consisted of kissing out of boredom. That ran its course in about a month. Towards the end of that month is when I finally ran into him.
I have to say that it was instant like. He was an intense kind of boy. He had his black hair combed over his eye, and he carried himself like a punk. Oh yes, I have always been a sucker for a punk. By the end of that day, which happened to be his 15th birthday, we were "going together." I made him stand on a log in Becky's backyard to kiss me. It was very romantic.
What followed was a relationship that lasted 6 months and 9 days. It was full of drama and fun. We were 15! Randy swears to this day that he was in love with me back then. He actually swears that he never stopped loving me. I don't know if I believe him or not. I mean, he was only 15. But I will give him this, he was devoted. If Randy had any flaw back then, it was that he liked me too much. I ran the show. He would bend over backwards to make me happy and I knew it. That is a lot of power for a 15 year old girl. Eventually I discovered that other boys liked me too, the power became too much for me to bare. I had a good friend of mine break up with Randy for me on February 13, 1992.
I am not proud of that fact. If I was going to break the boy's heart ( and he swears that I did), the least I could have done was do it myself. For a year or two Randy moped in the shadows of my life. There was no way that we could be friends. My presence was enough to make him depressed. The very sight of him brought on waves of guilt that I just didn't want to deal with. With the exception of one night that I flirted with him and kissed him for a coke ( just an excuse really), Randy slowly faded out of my life.
I moved on to a relationship with an asshole, high school adventures, and college. He moved to Mobile, AL where he became a father at the age of 18 and had a series of unimportant relationships. For the second time, Randy disappeared from my life.
When I was in college, my bad relationship finally ended. I spent a few years hanging with my friends and longing for a relationship. I remember one summer when I was at home, I decided to look Randy up. I went by his Grandma's house, because I had heard that he was back in town. She told me that he was still in Mobile, but that she would tell him that I had come by. I am not sure if he ever got that message.
In May of 1998, I met Randy for the last time. I was in town for Mother's Day. My Mom and I were on our way into town to buy my Grandma a card when she mentioned that rats had been biting people in Wal-Mart ( I have no idea if this is true or not) . I have a phobia of all things rodent, so we decided to go to Fred's instead.
Meanwhile, Randy had moved back to Natchez about a month earlier. That Mother's Day morning, he woke up with a yearning to look at new tools. Because that is just how cool he is. He headed over to Sears, which just happens to be located right next door to Fred's. When he came out of Sears, he saw that he had a flat tire. What did he do? He went to Fred's for a can of Fix-a-flat.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I rounded the aisle and what did I see? Randy! The nicest boyfriend that I had ever dumped. He was just standing there..waiting for me. We smiled, we laughed, we talked. I told him that he should come out for a visit. He smiled and said that he would have to do that.
When we got home, I was so excited. There was hot molten lava running through my veins. I just knew that he wouldn't call, but he had to. Ten minutes later he called. I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off preparing for his arrival. By the next day I knew that I was in love. I knew that we would get married and be together forever. I just knew it, and it was so. A year and a month later we got married. And I promise, if he ever tries to disapear on me again.. I will hunt him down.

Haiku Friday for Princess H

Princess H will be two years old on October 21. I can't believe it. It seems like only yesterday that she was born. It makes me sad that my baby is becoming a big girl. But at the same time, I am so proud of her. She is my little genius. I have been getting a ton of pictures and ideas together to do a tribute for H on the 21st. I am thinking that I am going to do a letter to her. Maybe she will enjoy reading that one day. I sure hope so anyway. I hope she isn't too cool and busy to read a letter that her Mom wrote her on her second birthday.

However, because we are actually having her birthday party this Saturday, I figured that it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and dedicate Haiku Friday to the Princess this week. Happy birthday weekend Princess H!

Princess H

From the first moment,

your new red skin against mine,

you are my flower.

***

The calm and the storm

a fiery mixture of us both

One to rule us all.

***

The perfect dimple

on a sunny little girl.

Yes, this is mischief.

***

Up after midnight,

nursing you in the silence.

My tranquility.

***

The perfect baby,

somehow turned into this girl

who fights like a lion.

***

No one squeals "Mommy!"

quite like my little angel

The stress falls away.

***

You are my daughter.

There is much I must show you.

I learned it from Mom.

***

There are reflections

of all of your grandmothers

Dancing in your eyes.

***

You never slow down,

always chasing after him.

Your brother, your heart.

***

Daddys and daughters.

Can you hear his heart melting?

The Queen of his heart.

***
I thought he loved me.

I was the love of his life.

And then he saw you.

***

The funniest girl.

With the best laugh in the world.

You light up my heart.

Thursday Thirteen

Don't forget to check out my field trip post down below. Super Z and I had a fantastic time. Please take a moment to check out my cute kid. Now, on with the show.

13 World Record Holders

1) Most books typed backwards (Because he had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING better to do.)

2) Longest hair (People are so odd. They really are.)

3)Furthest eyeball popper (This gave me the heebeegeebees, seriously)

4) Heaviest building moved intact (Wow! And did people actually go back in it? I am not thinking so.)

5) Youngest professional artist (You won't believe this. My children are such a disappointment.)

6) Oldest caged dove (And why it stopped singing. I am sorry, I do amuse myself, I promise.)

7) Largest Irish dance (A little something for AFF.)

8) Most rattlesnakes sat in a bathtub with (Yeah, I know. The world is full of geniuses.)

9) Largest dental caps (For those hard to chew meats)

10) Most spoons balanced on the face (Because I know you were just wondering about this...)

11) Largest gathering of people dressed as gorillas (People kill me. What the crap is the point of this?)

12) Oldest male stripper (Because, that has got to be hot.)

13) Longest leg hair (I was so glad to find out that it wasn't mine. haha)

A Trip to the Farm

The field trip was great. It was the perfect day for riding in a flat bed of hay with a bunch of strangers. Although Super Z was a little clingy, wanting to play with me more than his classmates, I did get to see him in action some. He seems to get along great with his classmates.
He seemed particularly close to one little girl. Every time the group sat down somewhere Z and this little girl would wind up off to the side together. They were pretty cute.When he saw me taking a picture of his preschool flirting he called me out on it, "Mom, you don't need to take a picture right now. We are just talking."

I didn't get a lot of pictures of the pumpkin patch because the batteries in my camera started dying as soon as I took the first picture. I know , I need to work on the whole preparedness thing. I promise I will try to do better in the future. Don't worry though, I did manage to get a few good shots in.

The pumpkin patch is on an operational farm. As a result, we got to see all kinds of cool animals. Super Z's favorite was the goat on the goat bridge. I am not sure why the goats have a bridge over their shed, but they do. And it is an impressive sight.

The hayride probably lasted about an hour. The farmer would stop the tractor every now and again to talk to us about the animals. Mostly Z and I just enjoyed each others company during the ride. He told me a wonderful story about a Super Hero that lives on a farm, Super Rooster Boy. I am telling you, the boy is going to make me a million dollars one day.

On one stop a giant cow walked right up to us. I am no city slicker, but I am telling you this is the biggest cow that I have ever seen. Her name is Molly. Apparently she has lived on the farm for many years. She walked right up to the trailer full of four year olds. Molly had no fear.

Of course the reason for the fearlessness quickly became obvious. Old Molly is no fool, she has Farmer Boyd figured out. We got a up close view of him spoiling his Old Molly.

Finally we arrived at the pumpkin patch. They had an area roped off for the kids. The pumpkins were already cut. They were just laying around. Each child got to pick their very own pumpkin to take back. This is a shot of Super Z with his pumpkin of choice. This is also the very last picture that my camera would take.

After we picked and bagged our pumpkins, the children got to play in a cornbox ( think sandbox with loose corn), on rope swings, and in a hay bale maze. It was awesome. Completely awesome.

Super Z's first field trip was every bit as good as I hoped it would be. I can't wait until we get to do it again.

Wordless Wednesday - Self portrait in an elevator

A Field Trip!!!

I haven't been on a field trip in about 12 years. I loved field trips. I loved having my Mom pack me a special lunch. I loved the excitement and the anticipation. There was nothing like it. No steam boat ride was ever as exciting as the steamboat ride that I took with my kindergarten class. No zoo was ever as interesting as the zoo I visited with my fourth grade science class. Ahhh.. those lovely field trips, the times that you got to ride the bus with your real friends. There is nothing like it.
Tomorrow I have the pleasure of accompanying Super Z on his very first field trip. We are going to visit an operating farm with a pumpkin patch! I am so excited. The anticipation is building up just like it did back in the day. For the rest of his life , this trip will come into his mind when he thinks of pumpkin patches. Well..at least it will if he is a memory elephant like his Mom. We are going to get to pick out our very on pumpkin, visit the animals that live on the farm, and go on a hayride. I will take many pictures and tell you guys all about our adventures tomorrow night.
I just hope that I am as good at packing field trip lunches as my Mom was...maybe I should give her a call.

A Weekend of Bonding

This weekend Randy took Super Z and Ty camping. They rode bikes, rode four wheelers, and slept in the woods. If the amount of fun that they had can be measured by the amount of dirt that was on Super Z when he got home Sunday, well then they had a blast. Apparently Father/son bonding is a really dirty business.
When I asked Z what his favorite part of the trip was, he said, " Burning doughnuts."
Uh...what? After a few minutes of questioning it was determined that Burning Doughnuts = Roasting marshmallows. Ahh..that makes much more sense. He was also pretty excited about spending time alone with just his Dad and brother. When I mentioned that maybe one day Princess H and I would go camping with them he scoffed at the idea.
"I don't think so, Mom. I don't think girls would like camping.," he explained over the phone when they were on their way back from Alabama.
This gave me yet another opportunity to explain to him that girls can like anything that boys like and vise versa. I could almost hear those little four year old blue eyes rolling in his head when he sighed, " Okayyy, Mom."
The boys weren't the only ones enjoying some stereotypical bonding time. Princess H and I spent all day Saturday shopping and getting ready for her birthday party. We had a lovely day. The only time she even came close to acting up was when I refused to let her wear her brand new patent leather dress shoes with her blue jeans. After some reasoning (distraction) I was able to convince her that it wasn't really a good look.
I took my time shopping and just enjoyed spending the day with my daughter. We didn't rush anything. She is a lovely little thing. She squeals, " Purty!" at everything she sees on the shelves and insists on telling every single person that she sees, " Hey! Hello!" She also likes to say, "Help me!" a lot. I learned that "Help me!" means that she wants me to help her out of the buggy or stroller so that she can walk around for a few minutes. She never ran away, she just walked beside me, holding my hand. After a bit she would be ready to get back in.
I have to admit, I really enjoyed being her favorite person in the world that day. She is usually Daddy's girl. I get affection, but not a whole days worth. It was wonderful.